I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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