we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
