This dress was meant to end up on your floor
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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