your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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