You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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