that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
