First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
