how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
