youre lurking in front of me
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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