a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize