I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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