I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
