if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
