The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
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I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
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I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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