I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
