And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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