Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.

Fav 24 6809 1022
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.

Fav 9 2147 7374
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking

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(310): View more from California

what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?

Fav 7 1124 2723
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(770): View more from Georgia

I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.

Fav 5 2023 864
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(479): View more from Arkansas

I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.

Fav 4 807 655
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(641): View more from Iowa

I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

Fav 7 698 623
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(203): View more from Connecticut

ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"

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