I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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