then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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