I wanna bring you to show and tell
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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