Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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