Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
