I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
There's always time for handjobs
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
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