If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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