you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
