She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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