Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Randomize
