SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
