He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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