Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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