well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
