It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize
