a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
4 words: hood of his car
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
