Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
