1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize