therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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