I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
