guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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