New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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