how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
