; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
