the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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