I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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