He had one of those small greek statue penises
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize