don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
