i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize