And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
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Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
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Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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