Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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