one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
