So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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