I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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