How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
porn star boner night. come get it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
