And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
pray to the hookup gods
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
