So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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