chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize