walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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