somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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